The Power Of The Story

'Stories' are the wheel that turns the marketing world, creating business success or business failure. Marketers are well aware of this power to influence the buying habits of the masses. However, ´stories' , (our own and that of others), also influence our personal lives in ways just as subtle as those used by the marketing gurus. We live our lives  through these 'stories'. In fact, they guide every action and decision we make.  

What are these stories that have such influence on us? They are the 'story' we have about ourselves, the 'story' we have about others, and the 'story' they have about us. 

Do you sometimes find it difficult to live your own ‘story’ because it is contrary to what others want? Do you find yourself constantly doing things to please others, (though never pleasing them anyway) simply because this is what you and they have become accustomed (habit) to you doing? Does this bring you frustration? Why do you continue doing it and hoping for a good result? Could it be you have formed the habit of trying to fit yourself into someone else's 'story', and the short-term pain of changing the habit is keeping you from the long-term freedom of doing so?

Subconsciously, everyone works hard to fit the world into their own 'story.' After all, their 'story' is their habit of seeing the world and we know that habit is strong. Anything else feels uncomfortable, out of control. If anyone dares to act differently to their 'story', they immediately react by picking up the page that has fallen out of the book and trying to make it fit back in again, pressing, folding, squeezing, (ouch) doing anything necessary to make the page (us) fit back in, so that their book (story) can be whole again....for themselves. 

 This does not mean selfishness, on their part.It does not mean that they don't care about us. It is simply panic at the uncomfortableness of change and the innate survival mechanism of trying to keep their 'story' intact.  What can we do? Logically, trying to fit into their box (story) while at the same time trying to grow and live our own story is as impossible as expecting an oak tree to reach its potential height, in a bonsai pot. We have to make a choice between one of the following:

 1. We can choose to continue allowing ourselves to be squeezed, sad and misunderstood forever, as a bonsai, living out someone else's story. This will probably be followed by expending lots of energy on trying to explain who we really are, or would like to 'be' in the hope that others might understand. However, is it possible to communicate this understanding while we continue ‘acting’ the role others want us to ‘be’ in their ‘story’? To be believed to ‘be’, we must ‘be’. Logically, the first choice will never allow us to reach our potential.

 2. We can choose to live (and become) our own story, by being ourself , the best 'self' we can 'be'. This does not mean selfishness on our part.Quite the contrary. It entails being determined to live our purpose, knowing that in the end, this is the only way we can reach our potential and give the most value to the world and those we love. Our decisions should always have the longtermgood of all in mind, regardless of how scary and uncomfortable those decisions might be in the short term, both for us and for others. 

Imagine how Steve Job's parents must have felt when he dropped out of University. (short term) Now imagine how proud his parents must have felt when they came to realise the valuable contribution he was making to so many. (longterm).

 So, what about you? Are you growing into the oak tree you dream of becoming.., seeking out ways to contribute your unique 'valuable' shade to the world, or.......are you allowing yourself to bebound like a bonsai, trapped in someone else's story?

From my experience, to #BetheBoss, we must first Become Our Story.    

If you would like a free audio of this article, please email info@theenglishcoach.es with "Story/audio" in the subject line.